More on Resolutions and Responsiveness

I had an experience with a homeless individual down in Columbus a couple of weeks ago that left me both happy and heart-broken with myself. I resolved several years ago to not be a let down any longer. Let me explain.

A few years ago just before Christmas, I was at a nearby gas station fueling my car when an older Hispanic couple pulled up to the pump on the other side of me. I could clearly see that they could use a financial boost and was prompted, for me it was by the spirit, to pay for their gas, a whole tank. I failed to do so, coveting my families' money since it was the holidays and we obviously needed one more present under the tree and had bills to pay and blah, blah, blah. I had several opportunities to help this couple, who obviously had 3 of their grandkids in the back seat of their well-traveled, beat up, 1987 maroon Chevy Impala, but battled, reasoned, and justified in my mind why I needed the 30 to 40 bucks it would take to bless this family with a tank of flippin' gas more than they did!

Anyway, long story (which mine usually are) shorter, I failed to help this family, selfishly hanging on to my money cause Lord knows, it would have spun us into bankruptcy if I were to have been obedient to what the spirit was telling me to do! To make things worse, I had witnessed the couple digging into the front seats of their car for change and also noted that they had pumped a whopping $2.07 of gas into their car, which maybe got them to the Toledo, Ohio line 3 miles down the road. I drove away from that incident sobbing, praying for forgiveness, and for the Lord to give me a second chance to do the right thing when the opportunity arose again. I prayed for the discernment in the future to be more sensitive and responsive to when I am being called to help someone that sincerely needs the help. Fast forward.

I walk into a McDonald's on the west side of Columbus in not so nice a neighborhood to use the restroom and, ironically enough, to buy another coffee to continue the cycle. As I enter the restroom I note there is one person in there with his back to me just to the right of the hand dryer on the wall in front of me in a very soiled cartoon character coat with the hood up, in baggy jeans, wearing well worn work boats with no laces and no socks, as the horrible stench of excrement, like in someone's pants not from someone relieving themselves in the toilet, punches me in the nostrils like a right jab from Mohammed Ali. I walk past and go to the urinal to do my business. I hear the guy fumbling with some change behind me and think to myself, "here we go" as the guy asks me if I have any change. The hastiness and harshness of that thought quickly fades though as I get this clear leading in my heart that I am, in some way, supposed to help this guy.

So, I listen as he tells me he needs just a little more change to buy a coffee or something to eat. As I had left Toledo early that morning it had been snowing and freezing rain. It was a treacherous drive down to Columbus, but as I got closer, the snow and ice had changed to a cold, hard rain. He tells me he had slept out in the rain last night and could use something warm to drink or eat. The leading within me grows stronger. I tell the "guy", as I'm washing my hands, my back still to "him" and not yet having seen "him", to let me finish up and we'd go get him something to eat. He says he could use a couple of bucks for the bus to get across town as well. I turn to dry my hands on the wall before me, the pungent odor of excrement now fresh in my nostrils again, and see "him" for the first time. He's a younger guy, around 20 I'm guessin', with a long narrow, bearded face, blonde wirey hair, tall, and thin, but with bright, blue eyes. It bothers me that I only know "him" as "him" so, I look him directly in the face and ask, "What's your name." He tells me it's Jesse. I tell him my name is Rick and that it is nice to meet him and tell him, come on, let's go get you some food.

We step up to the counter and I tell him to go ahead and order whatever it is that he would like. He orders a meal and drink, I my coffee. I order the stuff to go. It comes to about 6 bucks and I give the woman at the counter a 10. She gives me my change back and I hand it over to Jesse. She brings our orders to us and I look Jesse in the eyes again and place my hand on his left shoulder telling him I have to move on with my day, but to "be well". Kinda trite and, I'm not sure what he thought of that, but in my head I was thinking for him to do his best to survive and praying in my head for him for the Lord to somehow bless his life. I exit McDonald's and get into my car and look up back into the restaurant to see Jesse sitting down in a booth by himself to eat.

I drive away back towards the entrance to the highway to head on to my next stop second guessing my actions, or the possible lack thereof. Did I do enough for him? Should I have sat and talked with him as he ate? Was there something else I was called to do for him in those moments that I had missed? Was there another need I could have taken care of? I take solice in the fact that I at least had done something for him, not the least of which was to offer him some dignity, which I wholeheartedly tried to do, and Jesus's words, "whatever you have done for the least of these, you have done for me" come to my mind. Yet, I still weep. I weep wondering if I should have taken a few more moments of my time, which I consider so precious, to get to know more about Jesse than just his name. I drive away crying, more for myself than Jesse, both happy and heart-broken with myself.

Please don't take this post as my boasting. It is far from that. I am as failed as they come, but humble and smart enough to admit it. What I am seeking to do in my own life is to have a greater awareness and sensitivity of those needs surrounding me in every day life and not to be passive about them. To stop and take the time to do something, whatever that may be, for someone in need, where I am able. If we all tried to do so, to be more sensitive to what is going on around us and actually care enough to intervene, when and were we are able, what a difference we could make for humanity. I pray I don't miss out on the opportunities I feel the Lord presents me with to make a difference in that fashion.

This is a great song by Brandon Heath, one of my current favorites, that really is at the heart of how I feel about myself and what prompted this post. I don't want to "keep missing". I pray you'll take the time to click on the link below to watch and listen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTsYAZvHsEQ

Reservations on Resolutions

Do you make New Year's Resolutions? I'd have to say I don't really. I have goals in mind for the new year, but I find making "resolutions" just sets myself up for failure and disappointment in myself, which I don't need any more of. I was listening to a book on cd today in the car while working called, "The Life You've Always Wanted", by John Ortberg. One of the things the book brought up in bettering your life is to slow down and not be in such a hurry to get done whatever it is that you are doing in any given moment in order that you can be in the moment more. I'm always thinking of what I have to do next, or where I have to go next, or what's due next, instead of truly being in the moment that I am in. Running was much the same for me last year at times when I just "had to get a run in after work" to keep up with my training program and, instead of just enjoying the run in the moment, I was just running it to accomplish it and move on to the next thing or think about the next training run. So, I'm going to try and slow down my actions and thought process and appreciate and be more sensitive to the moment I'm in now more this year. I think I might find I've been missing out on a lot.

I have ran the past two days. Not feeling great, but part of that is from inactivity. There still is something going on with my right lower leg, but I'm just going to have to take it easy starting back this time. Tammy and I may be shooting for the Bayshore Half Marathon this spring. It would be both of our first half marathons the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend up in Traverse City. There are many of my online running community friends from RunningAhead registering for the half and full marathon races so we would be able to perhaps make some new friendships as well. We need to decide soon though as registration the races fill up fast and they are limited it is limited to like 1,500 runners. Problem is, that weekend is typically a camping weekend for us with friends from church and we have already made those reservations. Decisions, decisions.

Have a great weekend and again, Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! I haven't finished out 2008 very strong on my blog, but will try to update at least once a week in the New Year. No promises though. I have no idea what 2009 will hold for me with respect to my running, but I am going to try to get some consistancy with that as well and through a few races on the calendar, body permitting. I would love to be able to run a half with my beautiful wife, Tammy, and run some more races with the girls as well.

May you all have a most blessed New Year and thank you to all of you who took the time to look into the window of my world here and leave inspiring or encouraging comments, especially as I prepared for the running of my first marathon this past year. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

So Worth It

I received these photos in the mail last week from my Aunt Denise and Cassy. Cassy, you were my inspiration for that race and will always be one of my biggest inspirations in life! Keep blessing those around you with your smiles and laughter. I love you girl!

Your ugly cousin,
Rick

Two Big Games Today

Today is an exciting day if you are a Michigan State University Spartan, which I am an alumni of, or a University of Michigan Wolverine fan. MSU has a shot at the Big Ten Conference championship if it knocks off the heavily favored Penn State Nittany Lions today at 3:30. This would be the first time in many years for this to occur, and perhaps even, not since I had gone there, oh... four or five years ago. *cough* So.... "GO GREEN!"... "GO WHITE!" Since it snowed yesterday, won't have to pick up

leaves in the yard and can maybe watch football all day. :)

The U of M Wolverines have their work cut out for them today in one of the most heated and long-standing rivalries in college football history as they face the Ohio State University Buckeyes today at 12:30. Michigan has had a dismal season under a new head coach, certainly one of the worst in the school's history. This one game could make up for the lackluster of the entire rest of the season if they can pull off an upset against their detested football foes, the Buckeyes. It's a long shot, but anything can happen in a rivalry like this. I, being a good Michigander, am obligated to root against OSU so... "GO BLUE!"

Today is a Michigan college football lovers dream day, hopefully one that will not end in a nightmare. Go State! and Go Blue!

For Best Cell Phone Service in Northern Michigan and Other Unnecessary Information

Why, you stand on top of your garage roof, of course! Works even better if you have a wire hanger in your back pocket as well. My in-laws' cabin is nestled in the heart of the Huron National Forest in Glennie, Michigan which is in Northeastern Michigan and it is not a populated mecca - the exception being the first week of November every year for the rifle hunting deer season opening - without cell phone towers on every block corner, hence the need for ingenuity in the cell phone usage arena up there. I've found calling cards to be quite handy as well. The neighbor, Ken, found it just as handy to shimmy up the tv tower to the rooftop of their garage for good service. To each his own. We had a great time at deer camp, our's being the cabin above, though between the two cabins and 8 hunters hunting, only one deer, a 6 point buck, was taken on opening morning. For those of you keeping score at home, that's Deer - 7, Humans - 1. I actually did manage to shoot a deer in the wild, it just happened to be with my digital camera and not 30-06 rifle. Pretty good shot too as I got her while bounding away. Doesn't make for a very good roast or sausage though.Since I had a while I didn't have to shave while bow and rifle hunting, I thought I would give growing my first beard ever a try. See, as a firefighter we aren't allowed to wear a beard as it interferes with the seal of our face masks for our breathing apparatus for firefighting so, I have never tried to grow one. Well, what do you think? Dork-city or what? I felt deer-hunteresque. Back to normal tonight though. Gotta get back to making some fire calls before we head down to Virginia next week for Thanksgiving at my sister and brother in law's home. I know, it's barely noticeable.

It was quite the festive holiday scene as I arrived back into my hometown this evening with quite a bit of snow falling and the lovely Temperance holiday lights adorning the sides of Lewis Avenue through downtown. All kidding aside though, it really was kinda neat and warmed my heart as I arrived back in town from a long day on the road for work. Even got me a little excited in anticipation of Christmas. In fact, I am looking forward to going and cutting our Christmas tree after Thanksgiving. Are you getting in the spirit yet? Have a great weekend.

I'll Leave You With This

Ok, so I haven't carried through on the "blogging with some regularity" or some such statement I made a post or two ago. Truth is, I honestly have not had the time to do so or had any focused thoughts to do so. Right now I should be packing, or working, or paying bills, or something other than typing on this blog. I haven't been able to try and get any runs in either so, I'm failing miserably in that aspect of my life as well for the time being. I've often said I really wouldn't mind going back to a simpler time, like when we were settling the west, you know, like Little House on the Prairie-esque days. I know life was harder and, I'd likely be dead already at this age (just turning 42 yesterday), but I think people appreciated their days more because I think their lives were richer in relationships with one another and taking the time to slow down and have meals together or visit with a neighbor. Nowadays we're all too busy scurrying about, going from this to that, changing hats several times a day to fulfill the roles we have allowed to consume our lives. There's a blessing in solitude, in fact, I think that's what I most appreciate about running and why most of the time I run alone and out in the countryside and not in a park... simply for the solitude of it. I had a chance to have some solitude in the woods up north last weekend on a bow hunting trip to my in-laws cabin with my dear friend, Jeremy and will do so again this weekend at my father-in-law's annual deer camp for the opening of gun hunting season. This time I have the pleasure of going with my Dad and my father-in-law. I don't slow down enough to take the time to visit with either of them anymore and life, it seems, just keeps going on by at warp-speed so, I cherish times like this to share with them. My life mimics the Cats in the Cradle song so much at this point in my life, it is scary. Anyway, I'll be back next week about mid-week and will try to get a blurb in here. In the meantime, I'll leave you with this pic from my trip up north last weekend. I hope you find it as breath-taking as I do. Try to enjoy some solitude this week some time or simply connect with someone you've been meaning to, like a family member or dear friend that have been on your mind. Thanks for the note, Bob. I hope you find the Truman Show worth checking in on every once in a while and, know that you and your family are in my prayers daily. I look in on the Truman Show as well, even if I don't interject in it. ;)

Psalm 46:10

Did I Mention in the Last Post...

that I start jury duty tomorrow in District Court? I don't think I did. I really don't mind and think that if I do sit on some juries for cases over the next couple of months (I have to serve November and December) that it will be really interesting. I'm all about civic duty and being a good citizen and American and all that. This cetainly isn't good timing with me having to skip down to Columbus at least one day a week right now and with hunting and the holidays coming up, but it'll all work out. As Dad always says, quoting my Grandmother, "It'll all come out in the wash."

Speaking of civic duties, if you registered, please don't forget to vote tomorrow. It's your right and privilege for which so many have sacrificed for you to be able to do. I'm gonna try and get up and out on a run at 6 tomorrow morning, go vote when the polls open at 7, and then up to court in Monroe by 8:30. We'll see how my tentative plans work out.

God bless America! :)

Still Around

For anyone still checking, I am still around. Lots has transpired since my last post, like Chelsea's Senior Homecoming (pic above), the wrapping up of Lindsey's XC season, many trips for me to Columbus (with many more to come), a come back in running, followed by a crash another self-benching, a few online RA and blogger-running friend's completing marathons, a trip to East Lansing with Chels to a Michgan State football game, Halloween, and probably much more than I can recall. There's much to be said for keeping up with things, like blogging, which I have not been able to do lately. Early in October, following the Komen 5K Race for the Cure, I picked up running again with some consistency. I did start slowly and was progressing quite well without any pain or complications, other than being out of shape... again. I started thinking that I could still make my 1,000 mile goal by the end of the year if I ran roughly 5 miles per day for the rest of the year. I forced a run in on a Friday at the end of my highest mileage week (around 25) since training for the marathon I ran and stressed my leg too much reinjuring myself slightly. I tried going out for a run with Tammy the Saturday morning after and got to the end of our street and could not go on, the pain was too bad. That was October 11th and I hadn't run since then until yesterday when I nervously went out with Tammy and did get in 4 easy miles. So, gonna give it a go again, but much more easily than the last time I tried to start up again.

I've been wanting to do something with Chels, just the two of us, for quite some time. We've kinda lost a connection over the years and I have been wanting to try and bridge that gap so, I got it in my mind to take her to a college football game a few weeks ago because she has really been getting into football this year (she loves the Dallas Cowboys, well, Tony Romo anyway). When I had the thought, the Ohio State Buckeyes were going to be playing my Michigan State Spartans at my alma mater in East Lansing and looked to be what should be one of the best Big Ten matchups of the season. I

thought the game would be sold out, but to my pleasant surprise, it wasn't. A quick call to Tammy garnered the approval I needed to make the date for the two of us and purchase tickets online. We had a beautiful day heading up to East Lansing and I was thankful for the opportunity to chat about her future after graduation and to be able to tell her some things that were on my heart about how I felt about her, how proud I am of here, and how much I love and care for her, and always will. The game didn't pan out so well as Michigan State got battered, 45 - 7, but I wouldn't have traded the time spent with Chelsea for anything, not even a Spartan win.

Like I noted in my last post, my online running pal, Kirsten, aka Zoom Zoom, did complete her first marathon, The Milwaukee Lakefront, on October 5th! Congratulations, Kirsten! I am so stinkin' proud of you! You have been such an inspiration to me since I began forum stalking on RunningAHEAD for over a year now. I also had two other friends, Mike, Q from RA, and fellow running blogger, Karen, who blogs at Mom on the Run, complete the Grand Rapids Marathon on October 19th. It was Mike's first, which he completed in 4:04:38 and Karen was just in front of him at 4:04:04! To my knowledge, they don't even know each other. How crazy is that? Zoom Zoom was on hand as a spectator, along with her son, Dane, and Mike's wife Rebecca, to cheer them on along the course. I so wanted to be there (running actually, which was my plan at the beginning of the year) to cheer for them as well, but was not able to. Congratulations to both Mike, on his awesome first marathon finish, and Karen, seen above in the pink top, waiting to receive a hand off of fuel from her adorable eldest daughter who came to the race to cheer her running mommy on along with Karen's husband!

I have been traveling a lot for work this fall as the Columbus-area has been added to my territory of inspections. We've been somewhat slow with new business in Michigan so, I had Columbus added as part of my inspection territory. So, what I have been doing lately is leaving very early on Monday mornings, like 4:30 or 5:00 a.m., to head down to Columbus to make my property inspections for the day, usually between 25 and 40 of them, and come back home either when I am done or when it gets dark, whichever comes first. It's a long day, but this way I don't have to stay over night down there and be away from my family more than I have to be. I usually get back home around 7:30 or 8:00 at night and can salvage the evening with them. This is part of the reason I haven't been blogging, I simply haven't had the available free time to do so, nor the energy or enthusiasm to do so when I did. I'll try to put some consistent blurbs up here though from now on, if not for my own therapy. Heh!

We had a great weekend with friends on Halloween and again last night with several couples from our church at a fall bonfire. I feel so blessed by the people the Lord has put in my life, even those of you reading who I only know through here. Tammy and I went to our friend's, the Evans, for Halloween to pass out candy in their neighborhood and hang out with them. I haven't dressed up for Halloween in years and thought to add to the spirit of the evening that I would for a change. Lindsey and her friends all dressed up in like prom gowns with tiaras and such, over-done makeup, and Converse basketball shoes. I dressed up like a geek... I know... that was a stretch, but I somehow managed to pull it off. Actually, Troy Evans brother said to me, "So, I see you decided not to dress up this year." C'est la vie. Here's a pic. Hope you are all well and enjoying this great fall that we have had so far. Blessings.

GO! Zoomy GO!

Just a shout out to my RA and running blogging buddy, Zoomy, aka Kirsten, aka Zoom Zoom, who is a fellow Michigander from the pristine west side of the state, not far from my beloved Ludington, and who is running her first marathon tomorrow morning in her home state of Wisconsin in the Milwaukee Lakefront Marathon. Just want you to know that I've been thinking about you all weekend, I have butterflies for you, though I know you will fair well due to your flawless training and preparation, and will be thinking about and praying for you tomorrow morning. Enjoy your race my friend, but most of all... enjoy your finish! Tomorrow... I call you a marathoner! You can check out her race at her blog, Zoomylicious, here.