Living in "The Miracle of the Moment"

It seems everyday, in some way, God reminds me how precious our lives are and, in so doing, has been working a miracle in me not to be so selfish or to take things for granted. Four years ago on this date, on a snowy, wintery stormy Friday evening, two young friends ventured out on a trip to the mall, but didn't come home. One of them was the just-17 year old daughter, Vanessa, of a woman I've known since I have had a memory, Carol. Carol lived across the street from me when I was a kid and I watched her grow into adulthood and eventually leave the nest on Pickard Road. I talked with Carol earlier this week because I wanted to ask her permission to talk about Vanessa on my blog, which she graciously agreed to allow me to do, and, to just let her know that I think about their family and Vanessa's loss, not just on this anniversary date every year, but almost daily, as God's reminder to me to not take my blessings for granted and to live in "The Miracle of the Moment" every day.

The last 2 to 3 years have been a struggle in my relationship with my oldest daughter Chelsea, who is now 16. Not because of anything I've done, other than parenting her, or anything she's done, other than going through adolescence and all the growing pains that go along with it in beginning to "break away" from mom and dad and discovering how to be independent. She's a great young woman, but we have had our share of discouraging moments in our father/daughter relationship over the past couple years or so where she doesn't like me much I'm sure, nor I her. That's not to say we ever stop loving each other. I have been to the point where I was so exasperated by her or her actions that I feel like giving in and giving up and not fighting the good fight on her behalf, which she will never understand until she is older. I'm her father... her protector, the lover of her soul, the shaper of her character... I cannot ever give up on her because there is no one that can take my place.

I've talked to Carol on a couple of occasions about my relationship with Chelsea at this stage of our lives and she could relate well. Vanessa had gone through very similar "growing pains" and just prior to her accident and death, had been coming around and living for the miracle of the moment with Carol again. Carol said they had a rocky relationship the couple years prior, much like Chelsea and I, but that something was working in and changing Vanessa before her death which gave Carol the hope, joy, and peace that everything would be alright. She said Vanessa was beginning to rise above her mistakes and getting on a good path and was not ashamed to admit it and be an example to her friends. Of course, we believe this was the spirit of God working in Vanessa as she was an active part of our church and served lovingly on KidsStreet, our childrens' ministry, and was adored by the young children there.

Carol told me that 3 weeks prior to Vanessa's death, she would get up early around 5:30 a.m. as she had been used to it for early school which had discontinued at that point, and would slip into bed in front of Carol and sidle up to her and Carol would just stroke her hair. She was more clingy, to the extent that Carol had the urge to push her away because of her clinginess, but thankfully didn't. Carol reminded me in our discussion that, no matter what your kids do, just love them and, don't stop, but above all, NEVER give in or give up on them. As much as I have been frustrated in parenting, I will NEVER give in or give up on my girls and with the Lord's daily help I pray I will never take for granted my daily blessings and I pray that you do not either. "Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away." James 4:14

Pirrones and Mr. and Mrs. W., I think of your families almost daily throughout the year, I pray God has brought healing to your hearts and given you comfort in the knowledge that one day you will be reunited with your children. Please, have a listen to this, let it speak to your heart and work in your life so you don't miss "The Miracle of the Moment."

Thank you, Carol, for allowing me to speak of this very personal matter here. You have been, and continue to be, a blessing in my life.